Andretti-Ducati

I am 4 now. I was too busy being Brown Dog to post anything for, like, 2 years. A lot has happened in that time. My mom had my balls whacked off. She said I was a shitbag with a short attention span. I don’t know about that. But they came off anyways and now I’m a lot more aerodynamic, but I still don’t pay attention. I break down a lot. Dad says I’m like an expensive sports car, always blowing tires and gaskets, always getting my doors dinged up. And expensive to fix. But mom fixes me up good, sometimes right here on the kitchen floor. She says “this is what I do for a living, make animals all better, so hold still and shush.” She says “don’t make me have to do this twice, hold still dammit” a whole lot. Mom and dad were calculating how much I would have cost with the vet if mom didn’t work with one, they shook their heads a lot and I think they broke the calculator. I gots to be more careful.

Summer is here, D-Square and me and the Q hafta watch out for the snakes. They bite up here, and have The Poison. Mom says if anyone is going to get bit it’s gunna be me, cuz you know, that’s how I roll. We go out in the dog run a lot when mom and dad work in the yard. You know, cuz of the snakes and foxtails and my bad lucks.

Kay, gotta go. Dinner. More later.

xoxo, Brown Dog

Whew. Hot. Panting a lot today. Mom got us a kiddie pool, but it’s too small. I hafta share it with Stinky Dee, and there’s just not enough room for both of us. And I think she might have peed in it. Stoopid girl dog. Dad said he’s gunna go to Target and get us a huge pool. Mom says no way, plastic above ground pools are the height of tacky. I give it two paws up though. Keeping my claws crossed!

This is my first post. And here ya thought dogs couldn’t type. Actually, I can’t, so I just dogtate to my Dad who does all the typing.